I can answer that in four words: it was God’s will.
But for those of you still confused or reeling from such a shift, for those who have had very similar experiences (and its a joy to be able to walk with you in this way), I felt to share my story with you.
The last few years have seen upheavals like we have not seen on Earth in a long long time. With heightened and perceived threats to our lives and our livelihoods, affronts to our sensibilities weighing heavily on our hearts, and ancient trauma patterns resurfacing in our every day, humanity is being tested like never before.
Though I had not had much to do with the Truth movement in the past 7 years or so, that awareness never leaves you. I knew the minute we had notice of the lockdown in our suburb that all those things we used to speak of, as “conspiracy theorists” in a little tiny corner of Facebook (which grew in 2008 from 3,000 to 10,500 before it was pulled) that the time had come. The very thing we used to theorise and loosely put together some very haphazard pieces of info, was suddenly becoming very real. I knew what was going on, immediately.
I had been going through many pivotal shifts in the years prior. Many have heard me speak, and know my story. They know that after a bout of hepatitis in 2012, after my first Egypt trip, I came into my ‘spiritual gifts’ and could suddenly see the world in a much deeper, profound way. What I haven’t shared with anyone is that Jesus appeared to me in that hospital room while I was two weeks in quarantine and – like a doubting Thomas – I didn’t believe.
In fact, God was walking with me, and I heard him clearly throughout many stages after my marriage dissolved in 2011 and the floods had us in all kinds of trouble. He was with me throughout my first trip to Egypt in 2012, where he protected me from a severe injury when I fell about 8 feet through a hatch on a Felucca (an ancient sailing craft on the Nile) after we visited one of the Temples and went to get back on the boat. I am a tall, large framed woman, and I literally felt God’s hand capture me and lay me down gently. No one could believe that I was not injured, and nor could I! I slipped, and fell straight through the hatch without a mark on me, or a bruise. I will never forget it. Curiously every single time we go there, there’s a drama. It was like a curse.
Wherever I walked in Egypt, no matter what Temple I went to, all of my senses were heightened. I’d feel, see and hear God and specifically around the women of Egypt, the way they were treated in the Temples. Indeed it was God himself who asked me to start the tours to Egypt, and when I refused, he did as He always does when I am not listening, and sent another messenger to ask, on his behalf. Someone I would not say no too. And such is the relationship I have with God – which has always been close and personal. He is my beloved, a relationship not unlike best friends, lovers and husband and wife.
Those of you Born Again know exactly what I am referring to here: it’s a true, and personal and intimate relationship with God. It’s called true Christianity in the sense that it is not derived from any dogma, or man-made religion, it is simply a deep connection with Christ and the Word and the Holy Spirit does the rest. I had never seen or heard of this kind of Christianity. All I knew, in my dealings with God over the years: tried, and true and tested as we are asked to test all spirits: 1 John 4 4 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2 By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, 3 and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God.
I could not know what I did not know. Led by the Holy Spirit throughout the New Age community, and under the protection of God always, he showed me a lot and over time I’ll share those insights with you. What I was seeing, I could not understand, I didn’t have the language for it, but I could see it as clear as day. Evil – hijacking aspects of the New Age on every level, many innocent souls being drawn along a seemingly innocuous path, not realising they are being programmed against the very thing they believe they stand for.
So many times God has asked me to watch as I stood witness to practices and rituals that I knew were opening portals inviting those nefarious spirits in. I watched as people who were leaving religions left right and centre (and that is not a bad thing on any level as Satan has pervaded just about every religion), could not see that they landed themselves right back into the very system they believed they were running from – it’s an almost perfect plan, however evil. But more and more of us are having our eyes opened through this process of Awakening that is sweeping the world – just as God predicted would happen, throughout the old and new testament (John 16:33). We are fighting the powers and principalities and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:12).
The night when Yeheshua visited me on the 8.8.2020 through the many weeks I was living alone when my husband was 1700kms away in Melbourne, I went through the most intense series of events, spiritually, that I have ever had in my life. I had been grieving for a long time. Every day I cried endlessly, releasing a tonne of emotion that had been pent up, I would imagine, for a lifetime. That all I saw was the Truth, that I was not crazy, that there were millions in the world could see as I could see and that I loved God. I felt a distinct moment one morning, where I felt God through the presence of Yeheshua, a very powerful, omnniscient, omnipresence that filled the room and all of my senses at once. I felt a rush of love unlike anything I had experienced before and unlike a lot of the New Age dogma that expresses this ‘inner being’ as God, or the higher self, it was absolutely this sense of awe and wonder of a powerful, powerful being who was far beyond me and infinite love. A very, very separate being, perfect in every way imaginable and I surrendered. Right there. Yeheshua stayed with me, for 3 days and I felt this unbelievably beautiful love, like I had never known before, and that I had always known was there. It was the love I had been looking for all my life and it filled me to overflowing. I will never forget it.
This all occurred in stillness and absolute peace, by the bay at Scarborough. Those days I found it very hard to function, almost lovesick: so unbelievably happy while the world felt like it was falling down around us. I felt unworthy and yet so unbelievably and incredibly blessed. I remember singing Amazing Grace and suddenly I understood what the words meant, after all these years! “I once was lost, but now am found; was blind, but now I see”
As I have alluded to, even before this time I started to get very uncomfortable with certain things in the New Age. I know now, in retrospect, that it was the Holy Spirit showing me as one of my gifts is the gift of sight. And while I see, I don’t always have the language for it. But I had not hidden this and brought it to many people’s attention where it felt right to do so.
I had a lot of people leaning on me for guidance and direction (I still do) and at these times, I could only express the warnings that I was being given in the best way possible. Certain practices open us to the realms of beings who absolutely do not have our best interests at heart, especially at this time, and are using innocent souls (and the not-so-innocent) to get their needs met in order to prevent humanity from knowing God and replacing them in the heavenly realms.
Over the years in the New Age world I had a lot of people asking me to teach them about the chakras which I did reluctantly, because although I understood it, as I have a brain for systems and patterns, it didn’t feel right. For years I had stopped following angel anything, again it didn’t feel right. And while I loved the features of rocks and crystals I never really believed in, and nor did I want to engage with their ‘so called’ powers. Indeed anything that is used to manipulate the spirit world can be categorised as witchcraft, and while many are striking examples of God’s work at large – I truly love the shapes and the colours of crystals and their stunning and fascinating rock formations, but using crystals for some kind of healing or protection is the worship of something other than God or idolatry which God forbade: https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-crystals.html. We simply pray to him for protection and healing and utilise some of the processes and commands he has given us in the Written Word to support those processes. The Bible is intended for the healing of our hearts!
So why did God forbid it? I cannot know God’s mind, or His ways of thinking or behaving, but the Holy Spirit showed me that just as a crystal can be programmed for a watch or a computer, so too can a crystal be programmed by those nefarious beings known as the Nephilim with spiritual wickedness to boot. These very same beings engaged in these practices, as so-called conscious people created demand on crystals creating a false demand of something in the vicinity of $38 billion USD https://www.statista.com/statistics/809114/market-value-of-photonic-crystals-worldwide/. It was when I realised this “commercial reality” I decided things were not quite as they appeared. Digging deeper – l found the spiritual industry is worth $192 billion US and is projected to grow to $271 billion by 2024. That’s when I realised there’s something very very wrong with this picture and I truly didn’t want to be part of it anymore. I no longer wanted to participate in this, and could see my own failings having spent and invested thousands of dollars myself over the years in the quest for knowledge that would never arrive … and I stepped back. The fingerprints of Satan are all over the industry, which is why it feels so heavily compromised – and you can add to this the high end courses, workshops and processes forcing people to dig deeply for course after course, process after process in all kinds of slick marketing campaigns to glean and pilfer more and more money from the unsuspecting. Doesn’t that alone have a garden-of-eden ring to it? People I know right here in South East Queensland spent $12,500 – $20,000 on sexual intimacy courses and after “demonstrating” sexual mastery techniques on women for his own gratification he took off to Europe with the money and no one ever saw him again. That was in my very first experiences with the New Age and I knew God was both protecting me and warning me, three months after I began my journey on the New Age path. God gave me the eyes to see, and I basically received a “Cook’s tour” of that world to see how deeply it had all been compromised.
I took my own professional development seriously and learned to read the Akashic Records after I recovered from the Hepatitis in 2012 through a number of synchronicities that occurred and showed me I needed to do this. Ironically it was offered by a Christian woman in the US who I will not name. The rigour around her processes were very sound, and though this also came naturally to me, I am certain that what came through from me was information from the Holy Spirit for its incredible accuracy and powerful insight. I could already do what I was being shown and I realised it was by the grace of God: I was asked many times to teach it, but it didn’t feel right to me, and I am glad that I didn’t ignore those requests. I spent a decade at a professional level offering services for those who sought me out, but I struggled to promote what felt like something natural. While I took money for those sessions in many cases I was guided to send that money back into the community to support others – especially when I was in Egypt. God guided me to use the money to give to the poor and be sure to never take money out of Egypt (which I never did).
Those of you who are Born Again are probably reeling from these confessions, but I share them only to highlight that I had made mistakes, I had led people to question the truth of the Bible in my years as a spiritual leader; I had gone against the Word of God, when I started to read the Bible, I could see all my mistakes! I was a false teacher, and caught in the greatest deception imaginable. Years before, I had channeled (though I stopped that), spoken with the dead; I had even learned Tarot (which I only ever did for myself. Something about that felt truly unclean, and not something I wanted to encourage, let alone charge money for). I was naturally skilled at Tarot and could see deep into the depths of realms on this plane and others. In all honesty it felt like a powder keg. And I remember asking myself ‘but how do I know this is not some kind of programming’.
I remember feeling both confused and adamant that God had given me gifts that I didn’t understand. I knew deep down that I am a good, good person, and that despite not realising I was part of God’s Kingdom all this time (since the very first experience of God that I had as an 11 year old) that I was hearing and liaising with God, by God’s will. I knew this much.
It was then that I was to learn of the Gifts of the Spirit, and I will elaborate more on these in coming blogs:
The gift of Prophecy – making known the truth of God
The gift of Serving – helping others in need
The gift of Teaching – explaining meaning, context and application
The gift of Encouraging – inspiring others to follow God’s Truth
The gift of Giving – joyfully sharing what they have with others
The gift of Leadership – guiding and supporting others with wisdom and grace exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit
The gift of Mercy – showing compassion towards those in distress
In addition to these:
the Word of Wisdom – understanding and speaking forth biblical truth (which I am overflowing with!)
the Word of knowledge – understanding truth with an insight with revelation from God, and understanding the mysteries of His Word
the gift of Faith – one who has an unshakeable confidence in God, His Word, His promises and the power of prayer to effect miracles if it is His will
The gift of Healing – as someone who is able to facilitate some beautiful outcomes with the blessings of essential oils (mentioned over 1000 times in the Bible)
The gift of Discernment – where I am indeed able to discern the truth message of God from the deceiver Satan. Remember, Jesus said many would come in his name: Matthew 24: 4-5 and this is a gift to protect the church (we are His church – it is not a building).
The gift of Helps – rendering aid or assistance to others with compassion and grace, who are struggling with doubt, fear and other spiritual battles to move forward and speak scriptural truth that is convicting and loving.
To my knowledge I don’t possess the gifts Tongues or its translation.
And all this time, I thought I was “spiritual”. I am a Child of God, as it turns out, and I have been in his kingdom since before time began. I was so incredibly humbled when I realised God had ‘left the 99 to come after the 1’ (Matthew 18:12) … I was home.
For loyal friends who follow the New Age path even now, know I pray for you and ask God to open the eyes of as many as he possibly can – especially at these times. My hope is that as I share my blog, and my story over time, that I am able to share a glimpse of some of what I have seen and experienced.
As I shared above, none of this was my own doing: this was all God’s will. As many close to me know, that relationship I have with God is and always has been very strong – I do nothing without his instruction. That includes healing, essential oils, tours to Egypt, coaching – whatever I do, I have my own ideas of what I would love to do at a mortal level, after I receive His instruction, but I am inevitably led by my intuition towards the instruction and guidance of the Holy Spirit for direction and the focus I take. Thanks to God he has led me to this magnificent existence, where all I do is laid at the feet of our Lord.
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